


Your new boyfriend [Jared]

by Siuvi



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Depression, Drama, F/M, Friendship, Jared x Wilbur, Light Angst, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, your new boyfriend - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 13:22:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28529169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Siuvi/pseuds/Siuvi
Summary: Wilbur and Jared have known each other since they were thirteen-years-old. What if Wilbur has feelings for his straight friend Jared who just proposed to his girlfriend. What if Wilbur can't hide his feelings any longer and their friendship is at stage.PLEASE KNOW THAT I WROTE THIS AS A JOKE AND FOR FUN!!!I got this idea while scrolling through Tik Tok. Basically @moomin.jpg made a version of 'Your new boyfriend' by Wilbur Soot where it was just gay :-:  (you can find it on their page if you want to check it)
Relationships: Wilbur Soot & Jared
Comments: 28
Kudos: 108





	1. Forgot

**Author's Note:**

> Another reminder that is not in any means meant to make the characters in this uncomfortable.  
> The main characters in this are from the song 'Your new boyfriend' by Wilbur Soot 
> 
> Edit: I finally found the time to read through this and fix my mistakes. I should've read this before publishing it, because of the amount of grammar mistakes this had, but better now than never. I'm pretty sure I missed a few mistakes, but I'll get to them when I can. 
> 
> (Btw, I'm confused by the amount of people actually clicking and reading this work. Thank you)

“I proposed to her”, Jared announces to the man sitting in front of him. “Well did she say yes?” Wilbur asks, masking the betrayed feeling that takes over him with a fake smile. Jared nods, playing with the ring on his finger, a fond look in his eyes. Wilbur’s hands shake as tears are threatening to fall down. “Congratulations man”, Wilbur congratulates, but his voice comes out as uncertain and small. Jared goes on about how he was scared that she would say no, but Wilbur can’t concentrate on his friend’s words. 

Wilbur and Jared have known each other since they were thirteen. It happened naturally, since they lived in the same neighborhood back then. They didn’t go to the same high school though, but they did choose to go to the same college. It was convenient for them, they were able to afford a small apartment and live there together. One drunken night, Wilbur discovered his true feelings for the other. Knowing that Jared was straight, he kept those feelings hidden. It was quite easy, because of how obvious Jared was when it came to his feelings. In the end the feelings grew as they got older and graduated. Wilbur had gathered his courage to confess, but that same evening Jared had introduced his girlfriend to their small friend group. Wilbur remembers crying through that night, hating how a big stupid grin appeared every-time Jared looked at his girlfriend and the way they teased each other in front of him. 

Wilbur wasn’t prepared to hear about how his eight year long crush is going to be a married man soon. He was very aware of Jared’s good and healthy relationship with some girl, and pretty fast he had gotten used to hearing about it during their cafe dates, but nothing could’ve ever prepared him for this. His heart fell into many pieces, like it wanted to make sure that he would remember this moment forever. 

Wilbur struggles with holding himself together, as Jared continues gushing about his now fiance. Jared seems to finally take notice of how his friend is not listening to him. “Earth to Wilbur”, Jared calls out, waving his left hand in front of Wilbur. Wilbur’s eyes travel slowly to stare at Jared’s eyes. Wilbur can’t bring himself to say anything, it feels like the man ,not even a meter away from him, is far away from his reach. “What is wrong with you! Your childhood friend took time to see and talk to you, but you’re not even listening”, Jared speaks in an annoyed tone. “I’m sorry. I’ve been going through a lot lately”, Wilbur confesses, it’s partly because he has been falling back to his bad habits. Jared knows about his friend's past with mental illness, but he’s too annoyed by his friend’s actions to care. 

“I don’t care! You should be happy for me once in your fucking life. You just have this sad look in your eyes every-time I talk about my happy life. Can’t you just be happy? It’s not that hard!” Jared says, almost yelling, not registering his words before yelling them out. Wilbur looks at Jared with disbelief and a hint of anger in his eyes. “I’m happy for you. See you another time”, Wilbur mumbles, puts money on the cafe table and leaves tears now falling down. “Wilbur!” Jared yells after him, but the other has had enough of Jared for today. 

Wilbur stumbles through the streets, it’s been four hours since he rudely left Jared alone. The brown haired man shouldn’t feel bad for his actions, it was his feelings that were hurt by Jared’s angry words. Still he feels guilty, Jared was so excited to tell about the proposal, but because of his own feelings he ruined that moment for both of them. Wilbur feels a little wet drops touch his hair, which has turned into a huge fluffy mess. Soon it starts to rain, soaking Wilbur. At least his tears disappear with the rain. 

As heart broken as he is now, a few drinks can surely help him. Wilbur successfully locates a bar that’s hidden in the dark corner of an alley. The bar’s location is a little suspicious, but his urgent need for drink masks the suspicion. He walks into the bar. Inside the bar looks like any other bar, dark and a very timid lighting, tables scattered everywhere and stools in a nice line in front of the actual bar part. Only the amount of people is kind of off, Wilbur only counts four heads, two of them obviously too young to be inside a bar.

“Well what do we have here? By any change suffering from one sided love?” one with pink hair snickers. Wilbur doesn’t mind the comment, it’s true anyway. “Is this place open?” Wilbur asks. The one behind the bar, a little older looking than all of the others, with blond hair smiles, directing Wilbur to sit on one of the stools. Wilbur takes the closest seat to him, but the furthest from the four. A drink is soon pushed in front of him. Not wondering what type of drink it is, it’s alcohol at least, he gulps it down.

“Aren’t those two a little young to be here?” Wilbur questions, getting comfortable. “They are, but it doesn’t matter since there’s not strangers here. Plus I will never give underage kids alcohol”, the blond man explains, the two young looking kids smiling proudly. Wilbur nods, downing the new drink placed in front of him. “Well, is it like Techno earlier guessed, one sided love?” the blond asks. Something about this place and the comforting way the blond man talks, makes Wilbur want to talk. 

“My crush of eight years, and a childhood friend, proposed to his now fiance. He told me and I went and messed up, because I’ve been going through shit lately and it was kind of the last draw for me. I don’t know really”, Wilbur tells, to the four strangers he met ten minutes ago. “That’s though”, the one named Techno mumbles. “You should just crash the wedding and hit your crush”, one of the kids, the blond one, suggests. “Don’t listen to Tommy, he’s just a kid”, the blond man behind the bar states. Wilbur smiles, these strangers suddenly feel more familiar than his own friends. “I’m Wilbur”, he introduces himself. “I’m Phil, pink hair is Techno, brown hair kid is Tubbo and blond hair kid is Tommy”, Phil introduces all of them, Tommy complaining that he’s not a kid in the background quietly. 

Wilbur was in a deep sleep, before his stupid alarm went off. He maybe shouldn’t have drank so many drinks yesterday, now he’s suffering from the aftermath of his stupid actions. Wilbur remembers telling four strangers about his one sided love, but his memory is blurry after that. There’s a picture in his head, where he wrestles with Techno, but nothing else. Wilbur can confirm that he in fact has been wrestling from the small bruises on his arms. He checks his phone, no messages from Jared. Usually there would be even one message from Jared, there’s none and it stings in his shattered heart. A message from Phil, making sure that he made it home safely and his drunken answer, caughts his eyes. 

Phil 03.47  
Did you make it to home?

Me 04.11  
Yewg. Itd colf

Phil 04.12  
Good  
You are always welcome to come back 

Me 04.24  
Okkkkkkkk

Wilbur lets out a tired laugh, he’s still tired. He looks at the clock, his work at daycare starts in thirty minutes. “Fuck”, he curses, knowing that it’s impossible to make it in time now. With a few tired huffs, he makes it out of the comfy bed and to the bathroom. Even if he were to skip breakfast, he still would have only twenty minutes, but with a bike it takes exactly thirty five minutes to his workplace. Wilbur decides on skipping breakfast, every minute counts.

Just like he knew, the brunet was late for his work. Luckily there were no parents outside, when he snuck through the backdoor. His favorite co-worker, Niki, luckily distracted their boss. Their boss is a nice elderly woman, but when angry she scares the younger workers. Wilbur learned this the hard way, back when he first started his job as a daycare worker. He was fast to tell this to Niki when she started three months ago.

“Thank you for distracting the boss lady”, Wilbur thanks Niki. Niki smiles, she might be young but she’s the most understanding human on earth. “Don’t worry. Now let’s go. The children don’t know how to wait”, Niki says, not commenting on Wilbur’s messy appearance. Wilbur notices Niki looking him up and down, and giving a look saying that they’ll talk about it later. 

Wilbur’s day went like usually, he looked after kids ages between one and three. One toddler almost choked on a Crayon, but no other bigger accident happened. Niki had to leave early for personal reasons, so their talk automatically moved for the next day. It was not until Wilbur noticed a familiar looking tall and muscular man outside, waiting for someone.

Wilbur turns around, but his presence was already noticed. “Wilbur! Wait!” Jared yells, running up to him. Wilbur doesn’t need the drama, he was doing better thanks to his visit at the bar he found, but seeing Jared standing in front of him brings the pain back. “What do you need?” Wilbur asks, smiling. Jared shudders a little, his friend's tone is not very welcoming. “I wanted to apologize for yesterday. I didn’t mean to say the things that I said”, Jared speaks carefully, not wanting to scare the other away. “In the heat of the moment, I forgot that you had feelings too. It was selfish for me to yell at you”, Jared certainly is not good at forming sentences. “So basically you forgot that I had human emotions”, Wilbur scoffs, having a hard time listening to Jared. “Yes”, Jared agrees. “That’s the worst explanation ever to exist. You were there for me when I was at my worst, but now that I seemed to be doing fine you just forgot that I have depression”, Wilbur states. Jared’s eyes widen in panic, realizing his slip up. “I didn’t mean it like that”, Jared argues in an angry tone. Wilbur really doesn’t want to believe in what Jared is saying to him.

“Honey!” A sweet voice calls out, walking up to the two arguing people. Wilbur’s eyes fall down automatically to check the woman’s hands. She has a similar ring as to Jared. “Is this your friend?” the woman, Jared’s fiance, asks. She doesn't seem to notice the tension between the two friends. “Yes. We were”, Wilbur answers bitterly, glaring at Jared. The woman looks at Jared with confusion in her face. “Wilbur, don’t do this now”, Jared warns, tone cold as an ice. “It was nice meeting you. Jared is a very difficult person, so take care of him”, Wilbur says to the woman, not sparing a glance at his friend. He walks past the couple, wiping the tears away from his eyes. 

Here he was, pushing a bar’s heavy door open. The brunet is still in his work clothes that he bought specially just for work, but he knows that there won’t be people in this bar. It was still only six in the evening. “Sorry we're still closed, come back in two hours”, a voice informs, the voice coming from under the bar. “Can you make an exception?” Wilbur questions, the reality of his situation hitting him at once. Did he really end a friendship of thirteen years, only because they acted like teenagers instead of talking calmly like adults. Phil’s face jumps up from under the counter, a warm smile on his lips. “Of course”, Phil mumbles. “Rough day?” Phil asks, as the other makes himself comfortable. Wilbur nods, laying his head on the counter. There’s still tears falling down from his now red eyes. Phil stays quiet and continues what he was doing, waiting for the other to speak first.

“I ended our friendship”, Wilbur starts explaining. Phil peaks up from under the bar, listening closely. “He only thinks of himself. He literally admitted forgetting that I have depression. I’m not sure what he was thinking while admitting it, but it really fucking hurt. It’s like our friendship was nothing to him”, Wilbur takes a big breath in, waiting for Phil’s reaction. Wilbur had not mentioned the gender of his crush yesterday, but now he was too tired to care. “If he forgot something so important that clearly is a big part of you, you did the right thing. I may not know all the little details of your friendship with that man, but to me this relationship between you two is not the healthiest thing”, Phil speaks with his calming voice, not thinking any differently of Wilbur. 

“The big man came here crying again”, Tommy jokes, misreading the situation. Wilbur and Phil hadn’t noticed when Tommy came, but his comment is not considered very helpful “Tommy get out”, Phil demands. “He's a kid he doesn’t understand adult problems”, Wilbur jokes, seeing Tommy’s appearance as a perfect way to escape his problems. “What! I’m not a kid!” Tommy states, standing high showing how tall he is. “Tommy please leave, and Wilbur do not try to escape from your problems”, Phil voices between the bickering. Wilbur feels stupid of how Phil so easily picked up his try of escaping, it’s like he’s a kid and he was just called out by his dad for doing something wrong. Tommy mumbles a few arguments about him not being a kid before leaving.

Phil waits for Wilbur to start the conversation, they will continue their talk only if Wilbur feels like it. “I’m 26-years-old and still run away from my problems”, Wilbur whispers, hiding his face in his hands. Phil smiles, but gets interrupted by a phone. Wilbur takes out his ringing phone out of his pocket. “It’s him”, Wilbur stutters, not mentally prepared to speak to Jared at the moment. “You decide. Do you want to run away again or face the problem?” Phil comments, studying how Wilbur’s eyes stare at the phone with a scared look. Wilbur takes a big breath in, answering the call.

“Wilbur, you answered”, Jared sounds relieved as Wilbur answers the call. “Can we talk face to face? We need to clear things up, like adults”, Wilbur requests, noticing that Phil had left giving him privacy. The line stays quiet for a minute or two. “Yes, of course. I’ll come over immediately”, Jared offers, but Wilbur knows that he has already decided. Wilbur also knows that he’s not ready to talk to Jared yet. “Okay. See you soon”, Wilbur mumbles, ending the call. Phil comes back soon after the call ends, showing his fatherly smile.

“So… Are you two still friends?” Phil questions, silently hoping Wilbur to answer no. “We will meet at my place, now”, Wilbur answers, hands sweaty and all too ready to burst out in tears again. Phil sighs. “You know what’s best for you. Go on now. Don’t want to be late”, Phil encourages the brunet. Wilbur smiles sadly, taking his coat with him. Phil notices the phone he leaves behind accidentally, but doesn’t bother to run after Wilbur. 

Phil’s bar is closer than Wilbur remembered it to be. He is still not ready to face his crush, but he would disappoint Phil if he were to back down now. Something about seeing Phil’s disappointed face worries him. Phil is like the father he never had, if only they would’ve met him earlier. The brunet gulps as he sees Jared in front of the apartment building. “Now or never”, he states to himself.

Jared knocks on his friend’s apartment door, but no one comes to open it. The man is about to call his friend, but sees Wilbur walking up to him, suddenly having difficulties with breathing. Wilbur looks so distant and cold, his eyes look a little swollen probably from crying. For a second Jared thinks about how the brunet’s looks are so memorizing that he could stare at him for hours straight. Wilbur walks past him, ignoring him, and opens the door. Jared quickly moves into the apartment after Wilbur, making sure to close the door behind them.

“Take your shoes off. I’m not vacuuming my house today”, Wilbur mutters, hating how the air between them feels so thick. It all happened too quick, just yesterday they were on their normal Sunday cafe date and in the next moment Wilbur is ending their friendship. Jared lets out a quiet laugh, Wilbur’s sarcastic comment easing the mood a little bit. Though the mood is easy going, the air is still thick making Wilbur want to jump through a window. The brunet notes to go back to the bar the second everything is sorted out.

“I should never have forgotten what you have gone through, and are still going through. We have never had an argument like this before, so I didn’t know the right way to react and acted like a teenager going through puberty”, Jared voices out, desperately trying to find the other’s eyes. “I just hope that you never forget someone’s problem once they’ve told you about it”, Wilbur says, looking at Jared. They stare at each other, moving closer to each other like some kind of magnets. “Did you even care about our friendship?” Wilbur asks, the two standing noticeably closer. “Of course I do! I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t appreciate what we have”, Jared answers, taking a step into Wilbur’s personal space. Their faces now only a few inches away from touching. “You’re too close”, Wilbur breathes out, too scared to look at Jared into his eyes. “I don’t care”, Jared whispers into Wilbur’s ear, causing Wilbur to shiver. Jared’s fingers trail Wilbur’s chin to his lips. Suddenly the little gap between them is closed.

Wilbur wakes up to someone knocking on his door. He gets up on his feet, his back feeling a little sore. The brunet forgets the sleepiness, as the memories of last night crawl back to him. He checks his bed for Jared, but the other is not there. Horror fills Wilbur’s eyes, but the knocking on his door does not let him overthink. He manages to get to the door. Behind the door stands Jared with a little bag and Techno. Jared is quick to welcome himself inside, Techno glaring at Jared.

“How do you know where I live?” Wilbur asks from Techno, he will talk to Jared after this. Techno pulls out a phone, giving it to the brunet. “You left it at the bar, and Phil asked your address when you left drunk as fuck just to be safe, you know him by now”, Techno explains shrugging. “Thank you. I’ll probably pass by the bar today”, Wilbur thanks the pink haired man. Techno nods and turns to leave, but not without his eyes wandering behind Wilbur. Wilbur stands there, Techno is far down the hall already, did those two talk before he opened the door? “Wilbur!” Jared’s voice calls out. Wilbur closes the door, still feeling the soreness in his back.

“Where did you go?” Wilbur asks. “I noticed that you didn’t have a lot of food, so I went and bought some. Who was that pink haired dude?” It was Jared’s turn to come up with a question. “A friend that I met at a bar. Nothing big really”, Wilbur says, feeling relieved that the air between them is not so thick anymore. The brunet sits down, as he follows Jared’s every move. They should talk about what they did, one of them is a groom-to-be. It’s only five in the morning, both of their works start at seven. Wilbur wonders for a second why Techno was sent to return his phone so early, but he can figure it out later.

Jared gives a bowl of soup and takes a seat for himself. “You have a fiance. Why didn’t you stop before it all went down?” Wilbur can’t avoid bringing it up any longer. Jared freezes, obviously not ready to be questioned about last night's doings. “I went with the flow. This was just one time thing. Don’t even think about telling Maria”, Jared speaks in a monotone voice. Those words shatter every hope that Wilbur had so stupidly gathered. “Don’t worry. I don’t want to ruin your perfect relationship”, Wilbur smiles, choosing to bury the rage flowing in him.


	2. More fighting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I hate how this turned out... It took me longer than I originally wanted to write this (thanks to school and other "more important" stuff) Thank you for reading this though!!
> 
> Lets hope that I get the next chapter out in the next week or so ;)

Longing for touch that is forbidden can really mess up the clear path that a person has planned for themselves. Jared pulls his hair out of pure frustration, a bright smile and its owner stuck in his head. He should be busy with helping his fiance to plan their wedding and future house, but here he is thinking about someone who definitely is not his fiance. Jared lets go off his black hair, he’ll go bald if he continues pulling it out. It’s been over two weeks since he proposed to who he believed to be the love of his life, but the night not so long after the proposing is the only thing on his mind. “What is wrong with me”, the confused man sighs, pulling out his phone and calling the very person on his mind.

Wilbur watches as the two teenagers play UNO on the floor. He would’ve joined if the game was played on the many tables that the bar has, but Tommy was persistent on playing on the floor. “It’s more comfortable to lay than sit”, the blond kid had insisted. Wilbur started to visit the bar as often as he could, the bar being the only place he could hide from Jared. Sudden sound of a phone ringing interrupts the very tight and dense UNO game. “Someone pick up that phone. I’m about to win, bitch!” Tommy speaks, as he tries to peek at his opponent’s cards. “Hey! Are you trying to see my cards?” Tubbo mumbles, quickly moving his cards further away.

Wilbur laughs at the two teenagers, picking up the call at the same time. “Wilbur?” an hesitant voice asks. “Jared? Why’d you call?”, Wilbur questions, trying to remember if he had forgotten something important. “Just felt like it”, Jared replies. Wilbur stares at the many drinks behind the counter, really wanting to have one now. “And when did you call just because you felt like it?” Wilbur asks, trying to solve a puzzle called Jared. This puzzle started the day after ‘that night’, and the one solving it is starting to lose more and more puzzle pieces with the time. “Since I called you, okay. It doesn’t matter. I just wanted to know where you at, so I can come there too. You know just to annoy you and shit”, Jared says, talking in the most casual voice ever. Wilbur hesitates, fidgeting with the hem of his white t-shirt.

“HOW DID YOU WIN!” a loud voice yells, a voice that Jared can’t recognize. Jared furrows his eyebrows. “Where are you?” He asks in a possessive tone. Wilbur’s quietness bothers him more than it should. There’s shuffling from Wilbur’s side before a sound of door closing comes through the phone. “Sorry, I’m at a friend’s bar, babysitting two teenagers. They were playing a game of UNO. I’m outside now though”, Wilbur explains. Jared feels how his grip tightens on the phone, cracking his screen just the tiniest bit. “At a bar? Isn’t it like only five pm, no bar is open this early”, Jared notes. “Like I said, I’m at a friend’s bar”, Wilbur repeats, intentionally pausing in between the words like people would do when explaining something difficult to a kid. “Where is it? I’m coming there”, Jared informs, getting up from the couch. The way Wilbur mocked him while really not meaning to mock him pisses the manly man off. “Sorry. I got to go. See you on Sunday!” Wilbur speaks quickly, and hangs up the call. Jared is left standing there like a dumb kid, in deniel of the other’s actions. Wilbur just hung up on him, without giving him any clear answers.

The black haired man is more than pissed for two reasons. First reason being that Wilbur hung up on him without letting him speak first. The second being that he’s mad about the first reason. Another man should not make him feel this way. Jared can’t accept the fact how he doesn’t even get this mad when his own fiance doesn’t tell her location, but when Wilbur doesn’t tell him, he’s ready to strangle some people to their deaths just to know where the brunet is. “I’m going nuts”, Jared mumbles.

Jared paces through the cramped hall that is full of moving boxes and random stuff laying around. A few pictures of him and a man with brunette hair as children are hung up the wall, bringing good memories out and for a moment Jared forgets his worries. Only for a moment that being two seconds, before Jared continues his pacing. He’s been pacing back and forth for a while now, worrying his fiance. The groom is too into his own head to notice when Maria comes up to him. 

Maria stops the other, placing her small hands on the other’s shoulders. “Honey, you’re worrying me. Please tell me what’s wrong, so that I can help you”, her words are sincere and her eyes show a worried look. Jared cringes mentally, if she only knew what kind of jerk she’s going to be marrying. “I’m just stressed, nothing else”, Jared lies, hugging the woman standing in front of him. “Nothing else”, he repeats quietly, placing a kiss on her forehead. Maria smiles into the hug, loving every second of it. 

Jared and Maria met in college, it was love at first sight. They somehow ended up doing a presentation together and they kept talking to each other afterwards. Nights spent on a phone call together, sometimes snoring and other times laughing. Wilbur was the one who pushed them over the line of friendship, Jared couldn’t be more thankful for his friend. If Wilbur didn’t arrange a first date for the two lovers, Jared and Maria would still probably be only friends. Wilbur has kind of always been the glue of the relationship, even if he never agreed on meeting Maria face to face ─ Jared can’t understand the brunet most of the time. 

Jared always went to Wilbur, when he and Maria fought, and Wilbur was always there. The brunet seemed to know every answer for any problem that Jared gave him for to solve. This habit backfired on him badly, he never learned how to solve his own problems, because Wilbur was the one to do it for him. Of course he didn’t know how to react when conflict arose between him and Wilbur. It was definitely confusing, when Wilbur reacted negatively to the news of Jared proposing, because Wilbur was the one who pushed him to date Maria in the first place. Jared’s only goal now is to figure out his childhood best friend, and maybe get rid of the smile glued into his mind. This task turning from hard to impossible sooner or later.

The days roll quickly, and soon it’s already the end of the week again ─ Sunday. The day when Jared and Wilbur have their cafe dates, so that they can keep up with the other’s life. They had to skip the last two Sundays, since Wilbur has been avoiding Jared. Jared being the oblivious one, doesn’t understand why the brunet is doing the absolute most just to avoid him. It definitely couldn’t be because of ‘that night’, Jared had thought, stupidly overlooking the biggest factor of their problematic friendship at the moment.

Jared has been sitting alone for the last half an hour, since someone still hasn’t showed up. The black haired man busies himself with folding a piece of crumpled paper that he definitely didn’t find from the floor five minutes ago. He kind of succeeded in making the paper look like a pretty flower, he mentally pats himself on the back. 

“You seem to be having fun”, Wilbur notes out loud as he walks up to the other man. Jared looks up to Wilbur who is still as beautiful as ever. Jared offers an awkward smile, putting the paper flower in his jean’s back pocket. Wilbur places his jacket down before leaving to order something for the two of them. Jared has a bad feeling of what’s to come, Wilbur usually would be complaining about his job and talking non stop, but instead the brunet quietly went to order drinks for them. 

They sit in an awkward silence, waiting for someone to magically start their conversation without them having to be the one starting it. Wilbur is very interested in the black coffee he had ordered, and Jared is too busy lost in the other’s eyes ─ in the painting behind the brunet. The latter coughs as he notices his own strain of thought. Wilbur looks up from the coffee, raising an eyebrow.

“You okay there?” Wilbur asks, while the other is gathering himself back together. “Of course. The coffee was hot”, Jared smiles, gesturing to his iced coffee. The brunet stays quiet, looking down to the iced drink and back up to his friend. Jared’s smile falls a little, understanding that he was caught lying. Wilbur tries to encourage the other to speak with a reassuring smile, with a hint of sarcasm in his eyes. The smile does its job as Jared physically relaxes. “Yeah. I’m kind of confused and it’s messing me up pretty badly”, Jared confesses, ruffling his black hair as the embarrassment hits him. Jared has never been the one in need of counselling before. “Can you say the specific thing you’re confused about, or is it just all a big ball of shit stuck together?” Wilbur questions, taking this opportunity to find the lost puzzle pieces. 

Jared thinks back to the night when they agreed to talk things out, like adults. That night took a turn quickly. Jared had never seen Wilbur in that way, but something awakened in him that night. They agreed together that it was just a one night thing. It was just a one night thing that made it hard for Jared to look in the eyes of his fiance. Worst of it all, the groom does not regret it at all. 

“Are you gay?” Jared blurs out, the question slipping out accidentally. Wilbur stares in shock, he was not ready for such a sudden question. “Yes, didn’t you know that?” Wilbur observes his friend as his shoulder stiffens up, a thing Jared does when he’s hiding something important. “Did I?” Jared repeats, mostly to himself. “Are you serious. How forgetful can one person be?” Wilbur scoffs, feeling offended. He has been out since college, plus they literally did it once, shouldn’t that kind of explain itself. Jared tries to think of a good reply, a man can’t fix his bad habits in two weeks. “Of course I knew that! I just wanted to confirm, you know”, Jared says, leaning back to avert the intense eyes that are burning holes into him. “See you next Sunday. And please just try to remember that I’m not a side character in your life, I have my own life too”, Wilbur expresses, getting up and aggressively putting his jacket on. “Oh, right. Go and see a therapist or someone who can help you to get rid of that main character attitude”, Wilbur adds, giving a final sarcastic smile and leaves the table.

Jared lets out a long breath, his eyes trailing the brunet until they can’t anymore. “I just totally fucked up, again”, he mumbles, pushing his hair back. The now exhausted groom sinks deeper into the chair, beating himself up mentally. He exhales really loudly. If he and Wilbur continue like this their friendship will fall eventually and it surely can’t be fixed with sex. Jared really needs to get himself together before the wedding, or else he’ll do something stupid. Maria’s mother would physically beat him up, if he were to do something regretful on such a happy day. First step is to get rid of the smile in his head and then probably booking a time with a therapist so that he can learn to understand his brunette friend’s complex mind. 

Wilbur swirls his drink, letting out a long strained sigh. “Are you going to keep on sighing or are you going to tell us what’s wrong now?” Techno voices, tired of hearing the taller man continually letting out sighs next to him. Wilbur rests his chin on the palm of his hand. “Should I distance myself from him, at least for the wedding. It’s obvious that he’s confused about his sexuality, because of what we did. I don’t want him to cancel the wedding only ‘cause of his own internalized homophobia”, Wilbur rambles, feeling pity for what Jared’s fiance must be dealing with now. It took Wilbur two drinks to realize why his friend suddenly wanted to talk about sexuality. Now Wilbur feels like shit, if he wouldn’t have left they could've talked things out, but Wilbur’s emotions just happened to get the best of him. 

“I think you should. Like I have said many times before: your relationship with this friend is not good for either of you two”, Phil mentions, Techno nods in agreement. “I hope he won't lash out in front of me. It would be too rude to just disappear without saying anything first”, Wilbur says, knowing that Phil is right. The conversation ends there, none of the three pressing on the subject more than needed. Wilbur gulps his drink down, he’s going to end up as an alcoholic sooner or later with this pace. 

Wilbur woke up the next morning with a fever. There were no signs of a fever last night, so he hadn’t informed the daycare about the possibility of his absence. Obviously Wilbur didn’t wake up when his alarm went off, waking up feeling like death is near is not the most favorable way of waking up. Luck for once took Wilbur’s side, Niki had taken a wild guess and informed him as sick for the day. Wilbur really owes Niki an explanation and many favors for what the young woman has done for him.

The sick brunet is laid across on his comfortable couch, watching whatever is on the tv. He’s been thinking of the best way to cut off Jared from his life, not forever hopefully. Texting would be the worst way possible, calling is no better so automatically it has to be done face to face, since sending a letter would take too long. Wilbur hates the fact that he has to see how his friend is going to react to the news. But Phil is right, they’re better off without each other for now. 

Wilbur is drawn away from his thoughts when his door opens. Not really feeling the most energetic Wilbur yells tiredly: “If there’s a robber, just you know I’m very broke and emotionally unstable so I will cry!” As the footsteps come closer, Wilbur straightens his posture to see the person who had just walked in unannounced. The brunet falls back into the couch, the unwelcome guest turning out to be Jared. The brunet really wants to know why the other is here, but he’s afraid that his voice will give up on him.

“I’m sorry. I heard that you were very sick and ran here as fast as I could”, Jared explains. Wilbur notes how the other is breathing heavily, so he must have told the truth. Knowing that Jared had literally run to his apartment causes a warm feeling to reach Wilbur’s cheeks. “Thank you for worrying, but I’m fine and much prefer for you to leave”, Wilbur speaks quietly, but enough for his friend to hear. “Come on man. I’m out of breath for you, but you’re just kicking me out. That’s very mean”, Jared jokes, but Wilbur is not in the mood for joking. The latter was just thinking about distancing himself from Jared, but the black haired man just had to show up to his house. “How did you know that I was sick?” Wilbur asks, genuinely confused. “I went to the daycare to apologize to you, but you weren’t there so I asked around”, Jared answers. Wilbur stares at his crush, soon getting lost into the other’s eyes. Jared wanted to apologize to him, but it isn’t enough there’s too much to unpack. Wilbur reconsidered his next words many times.

“I’m afraid that I have caused problems for you that are coming in the way of your happy life with Maria. I do not want to be the reason why you would make stupid mistakes”, Wilbur takes a second to observe Jared. Jared seems to be caught off guard by Wilbur’s words. “I know that you’re going through the confused pace at the moment and I really want to be there for you, because I know how hard it is to figure that shit out. Still what we did was wrong, and if your fiance were to know she would be heartbroken. I can’t do that to that woman”, Wilbur ends with a shaky breath, holding tears in. A deep silence falls between the two friends, can they still be called friends?

Jared squads down to Wilbur’s eye level. He lets out a laugh, placing a firm hand on the brunet’s shoulder. “You’re speaking nonsense at the moment. We have been friends since forever, you can’t just end this so suddenly”, Jared says, trying to look for any signs of joking from the brunet. Jared furrows his eyebrows. “Are you actually serious? This is not just sick you talking? Right?” Jared questions, standing up. Wilbur sighs, missing the hand that was moved away from his shoulder. 

“I know this is sudden, but I have thought this for a while, even if I made the final decision last night. I was thinking what was the best way for me to say this, but you showed up and I can’t lie to you anymore”, Wilbur confesses, giving up trying to hide the tears. Jared combs his own black hair with his fingers, he was aware that he hasn’t been the greatest friend lately, but Wilbur wanting to end things is too much. “Aren’t you a selfish one”, Jared voices out, it’s his curse to be bad at expressing his emotions. Wilbur wants to say something back, argue and cause a scene so that Jared would feel guilty, but Wilbur is sick and very tired. “I hope the best for you. Now please leave”, Wilbur says, motioning with his hand to the door. “Fuck you”, Jared curses, slamming the front door behind him.

Tears run down Wilbur’s cheek. Too fast and too soon. This time it’s for real, Jared and him can’t be called friends anymore. Their friendship hurt both of them. It’s still unfair how their last real month as friends was full of stupid fights, unneeded emotions and sharing a bed. There were no happy moments, only painful. This all could’ve been avoided if Wilbur didn’t lash out that Sunday, when Jared told him how he had proposed to his girlfriend. On the positive side Wilbur met new people, people who feel like home and family. 

Jared throws his car’s door open, slamming the door shut after him. “Fuck!” he curses, too many emotions flowing in him. He bangs his head on the steering wheel. “Shit! Bitch! Stupid! Dumb! Fuck!” Jared curses, why couldn’t he say what he really wanted? The whole time, as Wilbur cried in front of him, Jared wanted to hug him and tell him that everything will be alright. The black haired man ended up doing the exactly opposite, he had called Wilbur selfish. Wilbur is nothing, but selfless. That brunet has always put Jared’s wants before himself, even Jared noticed that. Still Jared had chosen to call him selfish.


	3. Healing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is very short compared to the other two chapters, but hey I wrote something at least.
> 
> Sorry for the long wait, my mental health really said "no <3" (I was unavailable to write for two weeks because of it...)
> 
> The writing in this may seem different, but I hope it doesn't bother anyone.

Human brain has a tendency to shut down when it’s experiencing a wave of strong emotion. It could be caused by anxiety, fear, anger, sadness and so on. When a human body realizes that the brain is suddenly shutting down, it can react in many ways depending on the person. Some are able to act as if they are aware of their surroundings still in this situation. This kind of ‘being there, but not really’ reaction can only worsen the strong affecting emotion with fear. 

Wilbur stares up to a ceiling which seems to be getting closer and closer. A hand reaches to touch the closing ceiling. Eyes darting between the pale hand and the ceiling that is seemingly closer than before. Wilbur’s breath hitches as a feather like touch pushes him further into the bed. Eyes not able to stay open as the ceiling comes to contact with the numb body, pushing it through the bed and floor. A panic arises in the brunet, he’s falling through many floors. Hands trying to grasp on anything they can, failing miserably. “No! Stop!” Wilbur yells, unable to open his eyes. Finally his numb body falls down on grass, sending a rush of pain through Wilbur. He screams.

Wilbur kicks his blanket away, it feels too suffocating. As in autopilot, Wilbur looks up to his ceiling. He exhales as the ceiling isn’t the one in the nightmare. Pulling his body up from the comfort of his bed. Nothing in the room resembles the room in the nightmare. Of course he mostly was looking up to the ceiling in the dream, but not even the ceiling was right. The brunet can’t shake the familiarity of the room in the nightmare. “Whose room was it?” he whispers, rubbing the rest of the sleep away from his eyes.

It’s been a week. The two first days were the worst for Wilbur. He couldn’t bring himself to get up from the couch or to answer text messages from work and his friends. It had gotten so hard to get up and eat that the brunet just didn’t eat, everything felt worthless and empty. It wasn’t like usual, there were no negative thoughts or the lack of emotions and want to live. The brunet just felt empty, mind unable to register anything for two days. The strings that forced him to live everyday before, were not there anymore. Those strings were cut off by very sharp scissors, falling to piles of emptiness as the last string was cut.

During the third day of never ending grief, a few people came to visit. A few people referring to Techno, Phil and Niki. Niki had visited first, listening to the whole story and forcing Wilbur to eat and shower. A few hours later Techno and Phil paid a quick visit. Phil offered to check up on him every now and then, and Techno had given an awkward pat to the back. Thanks to his visitors, Wilbur started the journey of recovering and acceptance. 

The fourth day was just getting used to the reality of not being friends with Jared anymore. It was a lot harder than Wilbur was ready for. Walking around in his little apartment, looking for something to tape those strings back together. The brunet had found an old guitar that he had forgotten. A string or two were glued back together by the evening. Wilbur knew that the next few days were going to be the same, but as long as Jared slowly faded away from his mind the slow progress was worth it. 

Fifth and sixth days were identical. Wilbur spent both days playing the guitar, re-learning some chords, but nothing big. During the fifth day Wilbur called work explaining that he was not capable of working for another week, leaving out a few minor details on his reasoning. His boss was nice enough to give him eight more sick days, Niki probably said something for the boss to be so generous. Even for such a sweet woman their boss is, giving another eight days is a lot to ask for with a short notice.

Seventh day was something else. Food was either expired, rotten or Wilbur just didn’t have it. The brunet’s first thought was to just stay in and not to eat, but a certain pink haired brother-like-friend didn’t agree with Wilbur. Techno came to check up on Wilbur, instead of Phil because he was busy, and the empty kitchen didn’t sit well with Techno. The pink haired man did the absolutely necessary: Drag your depressed friend outside and feed him. 

The plan was much harder than it should’ve been. Wilbur was having a hard day, and stepping outside around countless strangers who breathe the same air seemed to be too much. Only the thought of it made Wilbur’s stomach twirl in an unpleasant way. Wilbur felt so nauseous that he was close to puking out whatever Techno had fed him. 

In the end Techno went alone and bought the brunet food and other necessary things that he noticed the later was lacking on. Wilbur can’t quite recall when Techno came back, he was too focused on tuning the guitar with only the help of his own ear and no apps. A note with an elegant handwriting was left for Wilbur to find when he finally made some food. The note read something about visiting the bar when the other was better. 

Morning sun peaks through the very tiny gap between the curtains, waking up the man who is sleeping on the floor. Wilbur lets out an annoyed grunt as he tries to cover his eyes from the sun. He probably fell asleep at some point while practicing a new song on his guitar. The brunet pulls himself up from the floor and sits right back down on the nearest chair. His back and neck are very stiff from sleeping on the floor, causing moving to be very uncomfortable. Feeling like an absolute mess and like a rock, Wilbur lays his head on his hands. This is going to be a long day.

Maria walks through the apartment, looking for her lover who seems to be lost at the moment. Maria woke up this morning feeling very energetic, but waking up to your lover nowhere to be seen can be very draining. Her first instinct was that Jared was in the toilet, he wasn’t. Then the next place was Jared’s office, not there either. Maria looked through the whole tiny apartment only to not find her lover. 

Making a sharp turn to check the kitchen for the third time, she yelps as something moves in a dark corner. “Jared?” Maria questions, her voice coming out as weak and worried. The worried bride gets a quiet mumble for an answer. “Jared! Why are you hiding in a corner. I’ve been looking for you”, Maria exclaims, moving closer to her husband. Jared looks around, not aware of his own surroundings. “I was thirsty, but it seems like I didn’t make it to the kitchen”, Jared explains, standing up. Maria looks Jared up and down, taking notes of his uncommon dirty look. Jared’s hair is tangled and dirty, his clothes have been unchanged since last week and there are two dark bags under his eyes.

“We are calling your mother”, Maria speaks. Jared doesn’t want to talk with her, so calling his mother is the only choice. Jared tries to protest, but is shut down by Maria. “This is the second time I have found you sleeping somewhere else than our bedroom. You don’t eat or sleep enough and don’t even get me started on with those clothes. I don’t know what happened to you, but as your lover I’m worried for your health. I don’t want to lose you”, Jared feels guilt as Maria goes to call his mother. 

The black haired man has not handled this situation well. Spending days only on convincing himself that Wilbur is still his friend, but the unanswered calls told otherwise. Going to Wilbur’s workplace to find out that the other is still sick, giving hope that this is only momentary. Getting almost arrested, because he wouldn’t stop harassing Wilbur’s co-worker about the brunet. His own fiance has to call his mother to get him to talk about the things troubling him. How did he turn out to be so pathetic?

Maria soon comes back to her fiance who has moved from the corner to the kitchen table. Her face has an unbearable look. Jared opens his arms, welcoming Maria in. Maria smiles, but the smile doesn’t reach her eyes. Jared puts his arms down and pulls the shorter into his embrace. “You’re not a one to refuse my hugs”, Jared mumbles, caressing Maria’s back. Maria pulls out of the hug, trying to meet the other’s gaze. Jared can’t meet her gaze, guilt boiling in his blood. 

“Your mother wants us to resolve this without her help, so please tell me what’s wrong”, Maria cries. Jared’s heart drops as his lover’s words reach to him. Maria’s hands are trembling and eyes watery, but she holds her head up and gaze loving. Jared opens and closes his mouth, but not a sound comes out. An unknown tension arises between the lovers. Both biting their tongues, other from the huge guilt and the other out of worry and frustration.

“I’m pregnant.”

Wilbur takes a big breath in, it’s time to step outside. He pushes the door open, but hesitates to take a step outside. “You can do this. You're hot and awesome. No hot person stays inside hiding their hotness”, the brunet whispers to himself, trying to find the encouragement to take the step outside. After a small talk and a slap on the face, Wilbur is outside his apartment complex. 

The brunet broke one of the strings on his guitar and didn’t find a spare one from his messy apartment. He called Niki about it, she was more than happy to refuse buying one for him. This left no choice for him, but to go and buy a new one. Wilbur really doesn’t want to go outside, but not being able to play the guitar sounds worse. 

Wilbur walks past by familiar shops that he used to go in frequently as a teenager. One of those shops being a music shop where he should find the string he’s looking for. Opening the glass door and taking in the awful smell of sweaty people. The scent takes the brunet off guard. As it turns out, a group of six teenagers, all very sweaty, are inside the shop. Wilbur does 360, deciding it’s better to come back later. 

“Big man!” Tommy yells. Wilbur winces at the loud voice, turning his head around to meet with the sight of Tommy standing in front of him. “Hi. Go back to your friends”, Wilbur says, feeling uncomfortable. The other teenagers look over their shoulders at the loud voice, but go back to their own business immediately. “They’re not my friend”, Tommy implies, “Can you come to the bar today? Me and Tubbo are thinking about holding a UNO championship in the evening. No, you must come!” Wilbur takes a second to understand the other’s demand. “I’ll come”, the brunet mumbles. Having someone so energetic around him is something Wilbur never knew he needed.


End file.
